Friday, 6 April 2012

Laws of Nature

There is an immutable law known only to event organisers the world over. It goes like this: no matter how long you work on proof-reading a brochure, or any other form of printed promotional material (Fortunately law doesn't apply to digital world - except for Facebook posts), no matter that you pass it  around people in the office,  then email a couple of trustees, pass it on to a professional proof-reader and every employee in their company, cut up the brochure into individual events and assign each member of your family to one event, and they then cut it up further and assign their children, their children's children, and then their future children to each individual word and then each letter, then call in the guinness book of records and form a line of people to make the longest ever line-up of people proof-reading a brochure, then, once said record is established, you get the biggest ever photocopier and blow up each page and put in a call to NASA and the spacemen on the spacestation train the Hubble telescope upon the brochure and then beam it through space to a recently discovered planet habited only by the copy-proof people, who have a copy-reading King and Queen who are able to instantly assimilate all said data and send return copy back faster than the speed of light, which on its way is picked up by a choir of angels who put in a prayer to St Peter, who calls out the newly invented patron Saint of Copy-Proofing, St Canon of Epson, who not only proofs it but also passes it to the Holy Trinity, who then, along with you, all the staff and all the aformentioned people above, kneel in constant prayer and abstinence as the final proofs are signed off by the living spirit of Mother Nature herself, after she and every blade of grass have given it a final once over before sending it to the printers, no matter that you do all that, the law states that you will always, always, always discover, as soon as you open up the brochure, that there is a glaring error/mistake/balls up, that no-one from all of the above picked up on. There is a second law of nature known only to events organisers: as soon as you sign off a brochure and it is with or on its way back from the printers, someone either cancels, changes the details of their event, or wants to add something else, but that's another story.

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